Slightly Freakin' Out

It is official and I'm freaking out a little. Come April 17 I will be running my first (and probably last) marathon. I started training the end of October. Yes, I know that seems like forever (you're telling me). I am not a a great runner and I haven't been running for a long time like most people who decide to undertake this crazy adventure. So I found a 25 week training plan from Salt Lake Running Co. and decided to just do it. I choose the SLC Marathon because it allowed me to train over the winter months. Summers are too busy, there are too many things I love to do, to try and take 6 months and train for a marathon. It had to be winter.

So how this all happened. Last year my friend Marne and I competed in our first triathlon. It was awesome and hard and a lot of fun. But as we got passed by 60 year old men during the race we realized we needed to step it up. We made a goal to run a marathon by the time we were 30.

Goal set, now to get the motivation to do it. A few factors contributed. First, my roommate and long time friend, Talena competed in her first marathon last year. She has been running for several years and did an amazing job. Ashley and I went up to Logan to be there on race day. Don't laugh, but I actually cried when I saw Talena come into the finish line. I was really proud of what she had accomplished. She is amazing person and a great example to me (and I'm not just talking about running). I didn't really get the marathon bug right then, but it came a few weeks later.

Last year I dated an amazing man who was great at pushing himself physically, something that I have never excelled at. I love to be adventurous and do new things, but when my body hurts I usually listen and ease up. When that relationship ended I was completely broken up about it. I thought he was the man of my dreams and I couldn't see my future without him. Only 2 months after our relationship ended I found out that he was engaged and getting married in December. This made the situation even more painful. I usually don't share this type of thing on my blog. And I actually deleted any trace of him from my blog after the break up (he was in the tri blog prior to the break up...haha not there anymore). But since he was a huge factor in my decision I decided I should share it. Anyway, as weird as it may sound the marathon training started for him. I needed something to do, I needed something to keep me moving, I needed something to keep me sane after the news of his engagement (although I may have picked the most insane thing to do). I felt like if I could do this, if I could run a marathon, he would come back. I thought that if I could run a marathon he would realize I was capable of pushing myself, that I was capable of doing hard things, and that I would be worth loving and he would come back to me.

I have only told a few people my true reasoning for racing. I don't even think I wanted to admit it at first. It seemed like such a stupid reason. And it is. He is now married and he will never know that I raced. And that is best. As I have gone through this process I have realized that I can do hard things. I can push myself. This race is no longer about Joe, it is about me. I am accomplishing a goal and I have stuck to a training plan (although never perfectly) for what is now 18 weeks (that is 4.5 months...that is a long time in Annie's world). I have run more total miles in these last 18 weeks then I have in the other 25 years of my life. I am learning a lot about my body and my character. I may have started it for Joe, but I will finish it for me.

So just 7 more weeks. I hope that my knees hold up, but mostly I just hope I finish. Wish me luck and I wouldn't mind your prayers too.